(Disclaimer: This is written from an United States Air Force Basic Training perspective, but a lot of this can still be applied to loved ones supporting any new military member!)
So your loved one is joining the military and here you are feeling all of the emotions. You are so excited and happy for them, super sad that they’re leaving, confused about a lot of military terms, uncertain about how things work, and a little worried. And hey, that’s just normal! But even with this hodgepodge of emotions, you are probably so, so proud of your future Airman! Joining the United States Air Force is a huge deal, but it’s such an exciting adventure.
You probably have questions like...Will I get to talk to them? How long will it be? What in the world does MTI stand for? I’m super sad/lonely, what do I do? And because I’ve been there too, I know you have even more than that!
When my husband Chance joined, I really wanted to know ALL about BMT! I personally found it all to be really interesting and so I researched a lot of different things. One thing I quickly found though, was while I could find a ton on what was going on/would be going on over on his end of things, I felt like clear information for significant others/families was harder to come by.
Basic Training wasn’t easy on his end–or mine. But it definitely was a rewarding experience for both us. He graduated in November of 2017 and officially became a United States Airman, we were strengthened in our relationship (and as individuals!), we grew even closer as a couple, and now we have a whole new journey to embark on together now that BMT is completed! So as a “Back Home Survivor”, I’m here to tell you that all of these mixed emotions, confusion, stress, waiting, and all the rest of the hard parts are SO WORTH IT.
Meanwhile, in getting to the part where it’s all worth it, here’s how to survive going through it, helpful information to settle your fears, clear up some confusion, and resources to help you know what to expect!
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Some {Basic} Things you need to know…
(Ha, see what I did there with that title?!) Here are a few abbreviations and terms that you’re going to start hearing/seeing a lot. It’s good to know them so you understand certain things better!
BMT – Basic Military Training  \  MTI – Military Training Instructor \  WOT – Week of Training
TRS – Training Squadron  \  FLT – Flight  \  AB – Airman Basic (the rank of your Airman while in Basic Training)
Trainee – A person that is in Basic Training  |  AFB – Air Force Base
BEAST –Â Basic Expeditionary Airman Skills Training (occurs during week 5 of BMT)
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“Will They Get to Call? When and how often?”
Phone Calls:Â Trainees are not allowed to use their phones except to make the mandatory calls. PHONE CALLS CAN COME AT ABSOLUTELY ANY TIME. So always, always, always have your phone near. Even when you aren’t expecting another call for a while, sometimes Trainees have information to request from you, or are given an extra call as a reward.
- The first call you may (or may not) receive from them will be a call to tell you they have arrived safely in San Antonio/At Lackland AFB. This call will not be a time to chat, and they will be very brief and have to leave.
- The next call (or possibly your first!) Will also not be a time to talk and ask questions. They will be calling to give you their new address and that is it. They will be reading from a piece of paper and may not sound like themselves. Most of the time, they sound stressed and emotional during this, so prepare for this not to be a cheerful phone call. This will be the last call you receive from them until WOT4 unless they need to request particular information from you, then they may be permitted. But even still, it will not be a time to converse. THIS PHONE CALL (like all of the others) CAN COME AT ANY TIME. So be near your phone! If you miss this call, you will still receive their address through a postcard in the mail.Â
(I strongly recommend having the Trainee Address Form (see “Helpful Resources for link) ready to go, so when they call all you have to do is fill in the blanks!)
- WOT4 Is their first normal call home and can come during any time that week. They are allowed 15-20 minutes (it varies) to make phone calls and can either use all of their minutes on one person, or divide it up. This will be your opportunity to just talk to them!
- WOT6 Is their last phone call! It will be much like the WOT4 call with some graduation details thrown in!
(My husband was granted two extra calls, one WOT5 and another one two days before graduation! Seriously, phone calls can come AT ANY TIME.)
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Receiving Mail in Basic Training
After receiving your address call, you can now send your Trainee letters!
- Writing letters: Write your trainee as often as you can! I cannot stress this enough. This helps so much to keep the Airmen going and encouraged. This is their only connection to home, to you. Basic Training is rough stuff, so hearing your uplifting and encouraging words is EVERYTHING. Try to keep your letters positive. Tell them how proud you are of them, remind them of how strong they are, include quotes, Bible verses, funny doodles, and even pictures! (Read the rules of mail here before sending anything!) Most trainees request that you write them EVERY DAY, because mail time is the best part of a long, hard day at basic training.
- (Trainee) Receiving Letters:Â “He’s begging me to write, but I’ve been writing. Is he not getting my letters?” is a frequently asked question for sure. Because, heads up, the mail issuing is crazy over there! Sometimes your letters come a little late, sometimes the letters come out of order, sometimes they’ll get all three you’ve sent in one day and none the next. Its really weird, but know that they WILL get your letters at some point!
- (You) Receiving Letters:Â Don’t expect a bunch of letters in return or right away. Trainees have a very limited amount of free time that they sometimes have to spend doing other things. Sometimes that free time can even be taken away. So try not to get too worried or frustrated, and instead be understanding and patient. They will write when they can!
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 “What do I do with myself?!”
- Educate yourself:Â Learn what abbreviations stand for. Learn some of the Air Force (or your branch’s) commonly used terms. DO YOUR RESEARCH AND YOUR OWN LEARNING. Don’t wait for someone to constantly come explain every single thing to you, because it just isn’t like that in the military. It’s not going to happen. Save yourself confusion and worry and learn as much as you can about this new lifestyle, what they’re doing in BMT, what comes after BMT, etc. The best way to do this is connect with other military spouses/girlfriends/families, watch some youtube videos (from the Airman’s side as well as spouses!), read some articles. Whatever you can do to learn, do it.
My Airman SO appreciated that I knew a lot of the terms/phrases when he would make his phone calls home. It saved us time since he wasn’t constantly having to explain everything and I wasn’t always confused. We were able to just enjoy talking. Because I researched what he would be up to each week, I was able to ask him how he was doing with different things, and he loved sharing!
- Know what they’re learning. I’m not joking when I say this helps sooo much! You can’t talk to them weekly but you can certainly have an idea for what’s going on. Not only does it make your Airman feel really good that you know your stuff, but it makes you feel so much better knowing something about what’s going on! It’s the most connected to their world you can be for a while. Every week check out what’s coming up for them and what they’ll be learning.
(I provided a link above under “Helpful Resources” to follow along with what they’re doing week by week. Watching youtube videos about each week of training is also cool because it adds personal insight from the individual instead of just facts!)
- Keep living life and stay positive! This is hard, but it is possible! It’s okay to cry. It’s normal to feel sad. Acknowledge those feelings but don’t roll in them. This doesn’t help at all. Remember that BMT is 7.5 weeks, not forever. Keep living life and stay busy. Learn a new hobby, a new language, a new recipe (or 5!). Do something, don’t sulk around. Download a countdown app to graduation on your phone, mark the days off of your calendar, start planning your trip to graduation. Write them plenty of letters. Maybe also even keep a journal of letters for them to read later (This can include all the little things you wanted to tell them while away, or forgot to mention in your actual letters!)
- FB Groups:Â Find Facebook groups to be a part of. I can’t tell you how wonderful it is to be a part of a military community. These groups are there for support, to answer questions, and make friends who are going through the same thing or have been there, done that! (I highly recommend starting off with AFWM, more at the bottom of this post under “Helpful Resources”!) It’s so nice to have people who understand what you’re going through and can answer your questions!
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Helpful Resources
AFWM “Air Force Wing Moms” – A website & Facebook group (definitely not just for moms!) dedicated to helping new air forces spouses/sweethearts/familes understand the new world of the Military, keep up with your Airman throughout BMT through private Flight groups (THIS WAS SOOO NICE!), provide helpful information for graduation, and connect you with other Air Force Loved ones through spouse and family pages!
BMT Cell Phone Policy – Sending Mail to Your Trainee – Week by Week Pages
Trainee’s Address Form – AFWM Facebook Page – AFWM Website
